Sure Thing

Hey, guy!

I like to imagine that all the times that I’ve agreed with someone that we would never tell anyone else about something that we just did, and then that person told someone else anyway, that they all, to the individual, thought that it was better to lie to me than hurt my feelings.

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Chasing Coyote

I’m eating here, buddy…

I was just doing some work in my front yard, when a coyote ran by.

The thing was going full speed, and took a hard Ralph two or three doors down. It took me a minute to recover, but I figured I better follow it.

I walked down to the intersection, didn’t see anything, and decided to go around the block.

Nothing. Not only nothing, but the people outside were definitely not acting like they had just seen a coyote tear-assing through our suburban neighborhood. This was the case in both directions. There seemed to be three possibilities:

1. It was a shape-shifter.

2. It was an hallucination/spirit.

3. It was still trapped in my neighbor’s yard.

The more I thought about it, the more I became afraid that number three was the most likely.

On the way back, I met up with my neighbors coming back from walking their tiny dog. They immediately ask if I’ve seen it. I immediately proceed to tell them how relieved I am to not be hallucinating. They continued home quickly.

Midi-Clorians: An Inspired Solution

 

I’ve unfortunately never seen an episode of Parks And Recreation, though I’ve heard it’s funny. So, I’m not trying to endorse the show (or not endorse it, I guess), it’s just that this clip points toward a way out of the whole midi-clorians debacle:

1. Jedi are in fact mutants.

2. The main difference between the Marvel (MU) and Star Wars (SWU) universes is that the SWU has an extra organism that lives inside the cells of other organisms — the midi-clorian.

3. In normal situations the midi-clorians don’t really affect the host, but when present in an individual possessing the X-gene any latent mutant power is both suppressed and distorted. The parasites thrive on the mutant power, and at the same time standardizes what an individual is capable of. Force powers are simply mutant powers filtered through the midi-clorians. Anakin would have been an omega-level mutant in the MU, but was just a kid with a lot of parasites in the SWU.

4. This would mean that the Jedi’s religion is basically bullshit.

5. It seems at least plausible that, because the midi-clorians were thought of as sacred, the scientists never made the right explanations for where all that lightning comes from.

(I kind of needed to think about something else for awhile…)

The Joke Is The Type.

Everyone has these.

Double time stamped. Via Gossip Cop.

If you haven’t already, you should watch the clip in the link. I don’t know how to embed it here.

As a side note: It was interesting to me to learn that Hulu’s ad mechanism extends beyond its site and apps, as this is the first time I’ve encountered one of its videos impeded on another site.

Fatty Liver Disease

Oh! My liver! My fatty liver!

Apparently, if you’re an alcoholic or too overweight, you can come down with Fatty Liver Disease (FLD).

The first time I’ve heard of it was today, while reading this article.
Since I have no prior experience with it, I need the help of the presented analogies to understand the gravity of the situation.

The author makes an analogy between obesity and mountain-climbing.

Doctors and society tend to blame the overweight for their condition with a disapproval that we don’t apply, say, to mountaineers who fall and break bones.

I can think of at least two reasons for why this is a bad analogy:

1. People have no choice but to eat, therefore any question of blameworthiness for failing to take every precaution against injury makes no sense. — It’s true that mountain-climbers can’t take every precaution either, but they undertake the climbing of mountains willingly. They can be blamed for their choices in a way that eaters (i.e. everyone) can’t.

2.  Failing to be good at mountain climbing has never been a sin — at no time do we believe that the climbing of mountains takes vital resources away from others.

I’m sympathetic to the overall sentiment, however. The analogy with chlorosis is much more apt. The importance of eating and the importance of sex are seemingly more equivalent (yes, I’m assuming degrees of equivalency).

If what this guy says is true, then maybe it is odd to have this “disease” become so wide-spread in just 30 years — the same time frame as the obesity epidemic.

Wicked Skills

 

The thing about this is that, believing myself to be a writer, I’m at a loss for words regarding precisely why this song, and video have affected my life in the way that they have.

I can talk about Primus in general. I can say things like:

1. When Primus went ‘dark’ for their third album Pork Soda they created the genre of Dark Funk Metal. We have Primus to thank for the likes of Corn. (My Name Is Mud – the silly story lyrics and silly voice effects + man singing like an enraged teenage girl about, I don’t know, something sad… maybe? = every Corn song. )

2. At the time those of us in the know knew that Tales From The Punch Bowl was the best Primus album. This is still true today.

3. I don’t know why Mr. Claypool decided to take his band in the ‘dark’ direction, though I do know that it certainly helped their sound. It helped them figure out the right rhythms for the Primus sound.

4. It must feel awful looking so much like Weird Al and trying so hard to look like John Lennon.

5. The best Primus song is Over The Electric Grapevine.

The exuberance is definitely part of the formula — I still think quite fondly about those guys in those suits.

It also helps that the nonsensical story is both animated and captioned — I still know all the words.

I think perhaps this song reminds me of a time in my life, a time when I had so little going on that I could be fulfilled, however briefly, by silly stories with good bass lines.

Also, I don’t agree with either of these statements:

Wicked Skills

Update – 10/12/12:

I forgot to mention that I think the song in the video is about VD.

That being said I don’t entirely understand the Taco Bell reference in the song, and have to admit that it significantly contributed to me feeling OK about eating at Taco Bell at the time. Eating at Taco Bell was funny. They should worry about that wearing off, as it did with me.

Maybe there’s a different explanation than that Les sold ad space in the song. Track 10 on Punch Bowl also mentions Taco Bell with an implication that being seen at Jack In The Box is more important than eating there.

Hopefully it’s just part of the the zaniness of Primus though I do love a good conspiracy.

Outsourcing

A better form of sterilization.

Our medical testing is now being outsourced to Russia.

I couldn’t verify in a 5 minute, half-hearted search that the health care system in contemporary Russia is as bad as the article makes it out to be.

But it’s Russia, so you expect it to be bad.

To channel my inner Zizek:

Is this not the ultimate expression of the ritual triumph of the capitalist ideal over the communist something-or-another?

– Actually, that was pretty terrible.